The April Blues

Well, not really. In fact, seeing the sun coming out is such a pleasure this year, especially after such a long cold winter. But I don’t think that should stop me showing my displeasure at one or two things and this week I’m turning my attention to the laws on driving. Now, yes it is true that I once drove into the side of a moving train and had to sit there and watch the front of my car being sliced off by the wheels of the train carriage but… that was a long time ago, on a badly maintained level crossing and… the sun was in my eyes so… clearly it wasn’t my fault! (Honest your Honour!)

In addition, the incident took place nearly twenty five years ago and since that time my driving has become nothing short of brilliant (of course). Unfortunately, in my view, this isn’t true of others who share the road. For example, when did people start to forget how to use roundabouts? Now, if they were American you could understand it as they don’t have roundabouts (think back to the London roundabout scene in the film ‘National Lampoons European Vacation’ or, on second thoughts – don’t!).

Anyway, it seems that cutting across, or casually swerving across the white lane lines as you wind your way around a roundabout (try saying that when you’ve had a few) is no longer a traffic offence. From now on I’m sticking to my lane and no-one, I said NO-ONE, is making me move over (unless you’re very, very big or a bus!)

And another thing… don’t you just hate those drivers who sneak up those few extra meters after you’ve been told by all the signs over the last three miles to move into a single lane! Grrr. And if they were honest about it I probably wouldn’t mind so much but… instead, when challenged they often go into some weird Marcel Marceau routine contorting their faces and wildly throwing their hands around as if to try to indicate they didn’t see the thirty odd signs they’ve just passed telling them to get in line in the first place. Personally, I’d be in favour of marksmen being placed on the grassy knoll always ready to shoot out their tyres!

Phew! I feel better for that!